Chapter 1 As she walked out of the elevator and walked toward the apartment door, there was a note on the door that read “The door is open, come in!” The room was dim. Several candles leading to the bedroom lighted the hallway. Along that path were pink rose petals. Jessica took off her coat and threw it on the couch. She started to walk toward the room following the rose petals and the candles. Just before she opened the door, something told her to look down. The pink rose petals had turned red. She opened the door and looked around. She heard soft music playing in the background, the room was lit with candles and there was a bottle of Champaign on ice resting in a bucket near the bed. And on the bed, lay her lover with two glasses full to the brim. He smiled at her and rose up a glass and offered it to her. She stood there overwhelmed, speechless. Before her lover could say anything, she turned and ran away. There was no way she could be there, with him, making love to him, knowing that there was someone else in her life, her husband. Jessica ran as fast as her legs would let her. She had no idea where she was going. All she knew was that she had to get out of there and clear her head. There was only one place she thought she could go to think. The river. She ran there and sat on the bench overlooking the sun setting water. She thought of what she had done. What led up to that night? The pain she had gone through with her family and how she let everyone down, how she was letting her family down right at the very moment by being at the river and not at home. “How could I have done something like that?” she thought to herself. She needed to get away, but there was no way. She had a family that needed her. By this time, it was four o’clock in the afternoon and she decided to go home. As Jessica walked home she thought of her stepdaughter, Leah. She was 17 and just moved in with her. She loved that girl to death. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her daughter. As Jessica approached her block, she felt uneasy, like someone knew what she had almost done that day. She tried to push it out of her mind and talked to her friend, Eve. “Hey girl, where have you been?” Eve asked her impatiently. “Calm down, I was out, I had to clear my head.” Jessica said with a look that was indescribable. “I can’t talk right now but I will be back down later tonight. Or you can come up but not now, later.” Jessica started walking towards the building. Eve was confused; she wanted to know what was going on. She knew something was up. “What happened tonight, Jessica?” Eve pressed her for answers but Jessica was already in the elevator. Jessica opened the door and felt a sheet of panic sweep over her entire body. Something terrible had happened and she wasn’t there to know what it was. She was scared that it was something bad and no one could fix it, not even her. As Jessica walked to her room she noticed her daughter in the living room crying like a little baby. “What’s wrong Leah?” “Mom, Tom was killed today,” Leah said in between sobs. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” Jessica hugged her daughter. Leah was furious at her mom for not being there for her when she needed her most. Leah pushed away and ran to her room. She cried until she had to sit up to breathe. She was so hurt that no one even cared about how she was feeling. She basically had to deal with the pain all by herself. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it, Leah? I know you are hurting right now.” Jessica asked her daughter as she peaked into her room. “No, I am fine!” Leah turned away. “Well ok. I will be in the room if you need me.” Jessica felt even worse now than she did before because she wasn’t there for her daughter. She had to tell someone what was going on but who could she tell. Jessica thought about what to do until she heard a knock on the door. “Knock, knock” “Come in Leah.” Jessica said in a low but comforting voice. By this time Leah had calmed down and needed someone to talk to. “How did you know it was me?” Leah asked somewhat smiling. “No one else ever knocks on the door anymore.” Jessica said as she smiled. “Are you ok?” “Yeah I guess. I don’t know how much more I can take of this. I mean you know what I have been through, first three friends from January to March, then grandma in April, and Tio in May, and now this. What’s next, me? And believe you me, that’s not the only thing that has happened today. There is a lot more than just Tom. Oh yeah and if the phone rings I am not home” Leah was upset that she had been through so much and nothing seemed to help her. No matter what good came her way, bad came twice as hard. “I know you have been through a lot honey, but this is only a test to see how strong you are. You can’t give up. You are too strong for that. Oh and about the phone, same goes for me” Jessica smiled and hugged her daughter who sat there not saying a word almost in tears again. “I don’t know how much more I can take but I won’t give up, I have to be strong for the family. I can’t let them see me down or they will bother the hell out of me.” Leah laughed. Jessica was glad that Leah was laughing. She had been through so much. Jessica looked at her daughter and almost started to cry. She wanted to tell Leah what was going on but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t understand, or would she? Jessica always told Leah what went on, maybe, just maybe, she could tell her daughter what was bothering her. “Mom, are you ok?” Leah asked with a questioning look. “Leah I have something to tell you, but I can’t tell you here. Come on. Let’s go out and eat dinner, and go to the movies. What do you say?’ “Sure mom, let me get ready.” Jessica was relieved that she could tell someone who wouldn’t judge her. She knew Leah would understand her situation. Jessica smiled, as she got ready for a girl’s night out. Leah was thankful for her mom. Making her laugh and feel better. Leah thought that she would have to go through this death alone just like all the other ones. But she didn’t have to; she had her mom there to help her and to make her feel better. Leah smiled as she combed her hair and looked into the mirror and saw the luckiest person in the world. “Leah, are you ready?” Jessica called from the living room where she was waiting for her daughter to finish getting ready. “Yeah mom.” Leah answered as she walked out. “What movie are we going to see?” Leah knew where they would eat, BBQ, their favorite place to eat.
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